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The hidden opportunity of being at a crossroad
What I have learned over the past 25 years as a therapist and doctor is that the biggest catalyser of change is NEED. The biggest and fastest transformations I have witnessed are in people that have no choice but grow. Need mobilises us to learn, heal, adapt, create and transform like nothing else
On the other hand privilege is one of the biggest obstacles to change as ...we don't really need to.
For people holding privilege it is often only on life's crossroads that the need to transform becomes urgent and ...not a choice any more.
A loss, a divorce, a separation, migration, peri-menopause, 'empty-nesting' or illness often break down the illusion that our lives can go on in the same way.
When life brings us to existential crossroads we cannot return to who we were and don't know yet who we need to become. Although unsettling, crossroads are also incredibly rich in potential for personal and societal change.
Without a compass crossroads can be frightening and we can feel lost. We cope by giving more, working more, doing more. This leads to cycles of adrenaline highs and lows that we accept as part of our lives and line of work.
We pay with our health, our relationships and vitality.
On life's crossroads we desperately long to return to the way we were without realising that that is what created the problem in the first place.
The biggest risk on those crossroads is to think that we just need something different to feel better. A different job, a different country, a different partner. The biggest risk is to change the circumstances rather than finally stop! ... and look at the biased ways we have been making choices.
Crossroads are there as opportunities to connect, more deeply realign, allowing our essence and direction to emerge.
Healing needs to be anchored by a safe place - in the same way a plant needs fertile soil to thrive in.
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